This fragile life we lead is just that….FRAGILE!
We get one….this ONE life to make the most of….to accomplish all we are capable of…
….but are you wasting it?
I know I was!
These past 365ish days have been eye-opening to just how fragile life is…how quickly life as you know it can change….and I’m reminded daily of this very fact.
These past 365ish days has shaken me and woke my ass up….opened my eyes so wide…I will forever need sunglasses 🙂
An accumulation of bad events happening in my life a year ago made me realize just how much I was wrapped up in my own depression/misery. Hitting rock bottom will do that to you. (Side note: I’ve always dealt with, since I can remember, what I now know as depression/anxiety/ADD.)
Up until my world was rocked….I was literally going through the motions of the day….seeing but not really seeing…there but not really there. To the outside world, you would never know…why?…because I’ve had many years of practice as a master actress of fake happiness. In fact, I was so good…I didn’t even realize just how unhappy I was…I just took it as this is the way I’ve always been. The reason I was unhappy?? I Have NO Clue!….that’s how depression works. You feel the suffering but you’re not sure why and for what…if that makes sense. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that I pushed people away and didn’t even realize it. It doesn’t take away from the fact that I was wasting my life away by going thru the motions.
365ish days ago though…my world turned upside down and dropped me to my knees. And it was there that I realized that most important thing that I could have EVER realized.
I needed someone to take control of my life and happiness…and the only person who could do that was ME! After many, many weeks of soul-searching…I realized that my happiness was in my hands and my hands alone. I had spent most of my life thinking the exact opposite. That I needed others to make me happy…which it turns out…just doesn’t work out that great!
It was also around that time that I read something in a book I had recently started. It said, “We need to learn to adapt to change but we also need to learn to tell when a situation is wrong for us and not force ourselves to fit.” – Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie.
It clicked…the final piece easily fell into place and I knew what I needed. I needed to start living for myself…living the life I was meant for and not the one I thought everyone wanted me to live…Trust me when I say this isn’t easy for me because this totally goes against everything I believed as a chronic “people pleaser”…but I decided to stop being scared and do it anyway.
I decided then and there that big changes were coming…I realized that everything I wanted was just right beyond my comfort zone where I had taken up residence…I realized that I needed to stop hiding and to embrace life for what it really is….A gift!
A gift to use wisely…to not waste. I needed to stop worrying about everything and just enjoy frickin’ life!
So I did! I took a leap at happiness….and started following my heart! I quit a job that just wasn’t meant for ME…got “MY” dream job…started surrounding myself with happy thoughts and people…started being present to my loved ones and working diligently on those relationships…started trying the things I had convinced myself I was scared of…and just overall…started just CHOOSING happiness.
It’s not always easy…but I’ve seen and felt the alternative.
It’s not always easy…when my depression rears its ugly head and makes me doubt everything I know to be true.
It’s not always easy…when my irrational thoughts are running wild and make no sense…
Its hard to rise up above it…but try anyway…It’s always worth the try!
~ Happiness can be elusive sometimes….search it out anyway! ~ -Jennifer Whitrock
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With all this said…I’m seriously here for ANYONE that ever needs to talk 🙂
(Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org….ANYTIME!!! 24/7)
We are all in this together…I’ve got your back!