I know I’ve been MIA lately but life has just been getting the best of me. I thought today I would post my SweatPink A-HA moment. This was originally posted on the FitApproach website for the Sweat Pink Ambassador Spotlight. It was a scary thing to do to put my story out there but I’m glad that I did now 🙂
Here is my story below…enjoy!
Fitness, for me, started out in a very unhealthy way. When I was 18, I allowed a boyfriend to make me feel unattractive and unimportant. I allowed this to happen for 5 years. Why? I wish I could say! I was young, impressionable…who knows why?
In those 5 years, I started working out off and on in a frantic and unhealthy way, in hopes that I would be skinny enough for him (I was a size 5 at that point which is a healthy size for me…I’m 5’ 6”). I starved myself some days and purged others until I was a size 1 (which turns out, still wasn’t skinny enough). Family members started voicing concern over how I was looking (at 5’6”, a size 1 did not look the greatest).
It took five years for me to figure out that it wasn’t me that had something wrong…it was him! I was fine just the way I was! A part of me always knew this, but when someone constantly tells you that you need to be skinnier, it starts to skew your thinking. Eventually with the help of a great friend, I got up enough nerve to just leave. And that is what I did…I waited till he left for work, packed up everything and left! It was scary but I haven’t looked back.
I also deal with ADD/OCD/Anxiety so I seem to always be flipping from one thing to another. Needless to say, my habits didn’t get much better after that, at least not until after I had my second child. After my son, I was in a serious funk. My anxiety was off the charts and I couldn’t stop it.
One day, while on Facebook, I saw a post from a girl I had went to high school with and she was talking about running. I wasn’t really friends with this girl in school and was of course a little scared (social anxiety at its best) to contact her. I did it anyway! I sent her a message about maybe running with her one day and I haven’t looked back since. I was at a point in my life where I just needed something. Anything to keep the constant thoughts and worries running through my head from running rampant and taking over. I was also wanting something to help me get back in shape….to lose that “baby weight”. She replied back that she would be happy to take me on a run with her. I went….we ran…we chatted…and I fell in love with running and the camaraderie that comes with it! I had found it! My thing! My escape! My sanity!
Since then, I’ve had a few setbacks (some surgeries…okay…3 surgeries to be exact). They all “benched” me for a few months each. I haven’t let that get me down too much though, and I’ve also gained a new perspective on fitness, food, health, etc. I’ve learned what works for me and what doesn’t. I’ve learned about a whole world of foods out there that are healthy and taste amazing. I’ve learned that I have a choice in how I feel and look and what I put into my body. I’ve learned more about fitness and the benefits of cross-training. And I’ve met some amazing people on my health/fitness/blogger journey.
In the end, running is still my first love. I wish I had learned to love it sooner. But for now, I will just enjoy my time with it now and in the future for as long as I can. I won’t say that I’ve completely stopped being that girl who looks down on herself. I am my own worst enemy and it’s something that I fight with everyday but deep down in my heart, I know that what my mind is saying is wrong. I am a healthy, strong, beautiful woman! I’m a mom who is trying to instill all the right healthy habits in my kids! I’m not afraid to work and train hard! I am not afraid to sweat…I do NOT consider it gross or unattractive! It’s a badge of honor showing the hard work I put in!
It’s ME!! And I SWEAT PINK!